Just back from a week in Quebec. I visited the catherdral at St. Anne de Beaupre, famous for it’s healing miracles. There is a collection of crutches, leg braces and such mounted up on a pillar at the back of the sanctuary, left there by people who have been healed. I’m not a Catholic, but I figured it couldn’t hurt. I sat in a pew, and really felt the power of the place, and fumbled a small prayer to St. Anne for strength.
One of the people in the group we were with is a Christian Scientist, and in leafing through a magazine she had with her, I came upon the idea that healing is a total thing – that to truly commit to being healed, I would have to consider everything I do as part of the healing. I have to examine every thing I do in terms of how it affects my health, not just what I eat. It extends to attitudes and physical activity as well. Maybe not a great revelation to others, but it was to me.
I went to see a naturopath a long while ago, and when I told him I had MS, he said, “I don’t know you have MS. Some doctor told you this, but I don’t know that it’s true or not.” I thought of this as I contemplated the Christian Science magazine. How much does my acceptance of and beleif in the diagnosis have to do with my experiencing MS? Do I “have” MS because I beleive I do? And will it diminish the symptoms – maybe even heal me – if I can disbeleive it?
I admire people who can make that leap of faith. I don’t know if I can, but I think that if I can somehow come to see myself as less of a disabled person, or as not disabled at all, it will help. I see it as a slow process, and a life-long journey.