I used to live here, once upon a time. Not in this house, but right around the corner. A fabled time of youth.
I just added another medication to my regimen, this one to deal with fatigue, and I was struck with two thoughts about the transaction. One is that it seems every drug that gets prescribed to deal with some MS symptom was originally intended for some other purpose, but either has some side effect that produces the desired result (in this case, it acts as a mild stimulant, even though it is an antiviral), or “for some reason” has the desired result, as in the case of the antiferons so many of us inject into ourselves. For all the study multiple sclerosis gets, it seems there are very few drugs specific to MS treatment.
The other thought that struck me (and these days, they are few and far between) was that I have not fully accepted this disease, because it still bothers me that the only treatments are symptomatic – treating fatigue with a stimulant, rather than dealing with the fatigue itself. I’ve always been one to want to know the cause of various illnesses and conditions – why they occur and how to prevent them.
So it is hard to find that the only answer to my fatigue is to take a stimulant. I am sleeping well these days, but I still want to put my head down on my desk and close my eyes. I will not face the thought that I can’t keep up at my job. That, I hope, is way down the road.
Now playing: Gino Stitson