a sunny and seasonably warm day here in portland. i heaved my massive bulk off the comfy chair and took my old ikoflex camera out into the street. i wandered up and back about two blocks a few times, and shot six rolls of film (remember film?) i had not even taken her out of the bag for months, and it felt great to be back at it. before i left, i took two of the ritalin tabs that my neuro had prescribed for fatigue (which i had not taken before, just not wanting to start relying on another medication), and how much that had to do with my being able to walk up and down for an hour, i don’t know. in any case, it felt great.
while i was out there, a guy stopped me to sign a petition to get medical marijuana onto the november ballot here in maine. he said he grew it, and that with a doctors note, it was legal to grow four plants (only two of them flowering at any one time!). i must look into it, as i have an intuitive feeling it would help a lot with the leg cramps. don’t know what i’d tell my DARE indoctrinated kids….
i just started reading a remarkable book called “waist-high in the world, a life among the nondisabled,” by nancy mairs. she has ms, and has been in a wheelchair for quite a while. as she says, this is not a book about ms in particular or disability in general, but rather a guide book to “a country which no one travels willingly.” there’s no whining, no woe-is-me, what a hard life i have, in fact she has a wonderful sense of humor (resolutely calling herself a “cripple.”) in one passage, her therapist/nurse/companion asks her who she’d be if she didn’t have ms. she says, “it was given me, like a koan to live with – not so much a question as a task.” i am probably not describing the book very well, i am only on page 63. it is very much a book for the non- disabled (or the “normals,” as she calls them) as it is for the disabled. anyway, it is wonderful, and inspiring, and she says a lot of things that i am feeling and thinking. highly recommended.
so now i have to rest, as i crash from the ritalin and the mornings exertions.