the minister

a bit of a speech given by The Minister in the movie Synecdoche – very highly recommended. the main character has some sort of neurological problem, never really defined, but little passing odd things happen to him, little passing symptoms, and he never really knows what is going on, and is always certain that something terrible is happening to him. it reminded me a bit of ms – weird little passing symptoms, never really knowing if they are just me getting older, or are ms, if they are passing or will come back and stay. anyway, a deeply disturbing and compelling movie – even if i did watch it with a youngster leering at me over the seat in front of me.

but towards the end, a minister gives a short speech at a funeral, this is just the end of it, but i thought it was sad, and true, and eloquent. and i often think people don’t really want to hear about my misery because they have their own.

“…And the truth is I’m so angry and the truth is I’m so fucking sad, and the truth is I’ve been so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long have been pretending I’m OK, just to get along, just for, I don’t know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own, and their own is too overwhelming to allow them to listen to or care about mine. Well, fuck everybody. Amen.”

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