this is an excerpt from a book (or article?) written by a woman who underwent traumatic spinal surgery, talking about the depression inherent in the recovery process. i thought, even though i’ve never had traumatic surgery of any kind (knock on wood), i can understand a little of what she is talking about. i wish i could remember her name, and/or where i came across this quote.
“The after is where it really gets grand, gets epic, gets to where one memoir could never be enough. Truly epic shit doesn’t start to go down until the very moment you decide to start living again, to start crawling your way back into the light and out of the darkness. I know enough to know now I’ll never fully leave the darkness completely, but the reprieves at this point seem to be enough to keep me going for now. sometimes. But no one wants to hear about the after, because it doesn’t arc as much as it shakes and shudders in fits and spurts until eventually you recognize an ersatz normalcy has filled the void you left somewhere in all the fallout”