ersatz normalcy

this is an excerpt from a book (or article?) written by a woman who underwent traumatic spinal surgery, talking about the depression inherent in the recovery process. i thought, even though i’ve never had traumatic surgery of any kind (knock on wood), i can understand a little of what she is talking about. i wish i could remember her name, and/or where i came across this quote.

“The after is where it really gets grand, gets epic, gets to where one memoir could never be enough. Truly epic shit doesn’t start to go down until the very moment you decide to start living again, to start crawling your way back into the light and out of the darkness. I know enough to know now I’ll never fully leave the darkness completely, but the reprieves at this point seem to be enough to keep me going for now. sometimes. But no one wants to hear about the after, because it doesn’t arc as much as it shakes and shudders in fits and spurts until eventually you recognize an ersatz normalcy has filled the void you left somewhere in all the fallout”

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3 thoughts on “ersatz normalcy

  1. i’m crawling out of my shit too- i suppose there are two types of buckets in this instance. the physical pain you speak of and the emotional pain i am speaking of.

    kind regards,
    sherry

  2. Hi Stephen

    I do hope you are feeling better. It has been a long summer for me so far…I have had my share of feeling stuck in the dark too. Somehow the thought of autumn always makes me feel better…it has always been my favorite time of year…a time of change.

    I hope you are hanging in there.

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