not sure i understand this completely, ( it is buddhism, after all) but there is something to think about here, as we wonder whether the person asking “how are you?” really wants to know, or are they just playing a game?
Dance with Reality
Sometimes people run away from you because they want to play a game with you. They do not want a straight, honest, and serious involvement with you, they want to play. But if they have a sense of humor and you do not, you become demonic. This is where lalita, the dance, comes in. You dance with reality, dance with apparent phenomena. When you want something very badly you do not extend your eye and hand automatically; you just admire. Instead of impulsively making a move from your side, you allow a move from the other side, which is learning to dance with the situation. You do not have to create the whole situation; you just watch it, work with it, and learn to dance with it. So then it does not become your creation, but rather a mutual dance. No one is self-conscious, because it is a mutual experience.
– Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, “Love Story” Tricycle Winter 2009
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