hire the handicapped! (tongue firmly in cheek…)

as i watched my wife bustle around the house this morning doing her annual wash-windows-remove-screens project, i decided it would be a good idea to haul out the vacuum cleaner and see what i could do to spiff the place up a bit. we have a shaggy dog who, for some reason, put off the shedding of his winter coat (talking about LAST winter’s coat) until this fall. needless to say, the clumps of white fur tend to gather themselves in every corner, under every piece of furniture, and everywhere else, morphing from dust bunnies to dust rhinos.

anyway, it’s quite a trick to maneuver the vacuum cleaner hose from my wheelchair, so i tried to do as much of it as i could while standing. supporting myself with one hand on the corner of a chair or table, i can get pretty much everywhere in the room. not a pretty sight, i’m sure, but i didn’t even come close to falling down once!

as i was working my way around the downstairs, i thought that despite my best efforts, it would not be the best vacuuming job the house has ever seen, not by a long shot. and a clever marketing idea came to mind: “Hire the handicapped – we’ll do the work half as well in twice the time!

my plan for today is to will my body to recover from the efforts of yesterday (after so many years, you’d think it wouldn’t be such a surprise to wake up the day after such a project and find myself more wobbly and weak than usual.See “Spoon Theory.”) so, unless you are in a hurry and expect sparkling results, hire the handicapped to clean your home!


Author: stephen

stephen harris is a writer, painter and a photographer who lives with his family in maine.

4 thoughts on “hire the handicapped! (tongue firmly in cheek…)”

  1. Hey you! At least you got some exercise!

    I got my pump out last Wednesday & alls well. Haven’t had many spasms as I had before & my bod is responding well to the oral meds.
    Good luck with your decision.

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