You’ll never feel ill enough. There will always be a little voice in the back of your head whispering that you’re fine, really, you’d be okay if you only tried harder.
That little voice isn’t the voice of reason – it’s the voice of internalised ableism, and you owe it nothing.
Find someone who can help you. Apply for the benefits you need. Use the mobility aids that make your life easier. Give yourself a break.
You deserve it. You are ill enough. You aren’t faking it, you aren’t mooching. You’re surviving, and you deserve a round of applause.
Found on the blog “Kipple Kipple Everywhere.“
How nice to wake up in the morning (my favorite way to start the day) to find that my mind wasn’t racing off in anxiety driven confusion, my legs weren’t cramping, my arms weren’t numb, my back, or neck, or shoulders weren’t aching, and I didn’t have to get up RIGHT NOW to pee. I was actually able to lie back and close my eyes and breathe for an hour. A rare treat.
This sings me to sleep, and often plays on repeat all night. It is a comfort, somehow, to wake in the middle of the night and hear is softly playing in my ear. And to wake up with it repeating in my mind.
I’m not a New Year’s resolution kind of guy. As with most people, there are far too many broken resolutions littering my past. But I came across an interesting idea recently, which is to pick a word around which to frame the new year. I picked, “simplify.” In conjunction with my efforts at mindfulness, I might only apply “simplify” to this month, or even this day, or even the current moment. In whatever way, I will try to keep “simplify” as my byword as I move into 2017.
There’s only so much I can simplify, what with adaptive equipment, various therapies, medications, appointments, etc. Disability is complicated. Identifying things in my daily life that I can simplify is a mindfulness and simplification process in itself, a valuable exercise, if only in self-examination.
I hope that by moving from “resolution,” to “byword,” I will be more likely to stick to it. Isn’t this what Post-it notes are for?
If you were to pick one word to frame your new year around, what would it be?
I’ve been away from this blog for quite some time, dealing with some complicated shit. More about that later. But for now:
This is what I’ve been talking about. Ordinary people, doing ordinary things. Ordinary people who happen to be in wheelchairs, featured in commercials. Better they should be in mainstream TV shows and movies, but I’ll take what I can get.
- The wheelchairs are not the focus of the story, they’re not even important to the story. This little screenplay could have been acted out equally as powerfully were the actors not in wheelchairs.
- I love the fact that this drama shows people in wheelchairs being physical, active athletes, able to give and take on the court. I love the fact that this is not about people in wheelchairs. This is not about disability.
- I love the fact that it proves that wheelchair users are not “bound” to their chairs. Just as we are moving towards more inclusive “person first” language we have to move away from the image of people in wheelchairs being dependent and stuck or trapped. For these men, like for everybody else who uses a wheelchair, the chair is a vehicle for liberation.
- I love that the story empowers the men in the wheelchairs.
- I love the fact that the kids are fully included in the father’s life and accepting of his disability, perhaps not even seeing it anymore.
- I love the fact that Toyota stands aside, and can promote their message and their product (I still don’t know what model vehicle is being promoted, but, like the wheelchairs, it doesn’t matter.) without having to shout.
- I love seeing myself, or someone who looks like me, portrayed this way in a mainstream commercial. Perhaps only marginalized people will understand this. (A topic for a further and lengthy, discussion.)
In the end, what makes this a really great commercial is that the product (some sort of car, I think…) is only a vehicle (pardon the pun) for the drama of a group of men playing a very physical game of basketball, ending the day without holding grudges.
I hope this film can lead the way toward more fully inclusive roles for people with disabilities.
Did I mention that I love this little film? What do you think?
I was all set to write post about finally embracing, “I can’t.” I have tried to remind myself that of course I can. It might take me 4 times as long, and it might wreck me for the rest of the day. It might leave me grunting like a Wimbledon tennis player when I “walk” down the hall, it might find me half way into an activity thinking I’ve made a terrible mistake. But in the end, I’ve told myself, I always can – in one way or another. This morning, as I wrestled with an enormous All-Clad skillet in the sink, one of the angels on my shoulder (not sure which one) whispered “It’s OK to say you can’t.”
“Yeah,” I replied.”My body has limitations, and it’s OK for me to say I can’t. Right on.” I’ve been posting – ad nauseam – on Facebook about the Paralympics (I hope you’ll be watching along with me!), so turned on by watching these athletes who trained for their particular event just as hard as the Olympians who performed two weeks ago, but who had to train through blindness or traumatic injury or some other disability.
Then this morning, scrolling Facebook, I watched a little video about the Paralympic soccer team. One player prefaced his story with the phrase, “When I woke up from the coma…” I watch them train, while listening to them talk matter-of-factly about their brain injury, or cerebral palsy, and I ask myself, what’s my excuse?
So it reposted the little video about the soccer team with my comment that,”Each time I arrive at “I can’t,” I am encouraged to take one more step.” It would be so easy – too easy – to just say I can’t. But I’d know that it’s not true. And even if no one ever accused me of being a quitter, I’d know.
So I’m ging to watch as much of the Paralympics as I can, and remind myself that I can always take one more step.
Three Moments of an Explosion: Stories by China Miéville
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
His novels are hard to classify – part steampunk, part fantasy, a little science fiction. He creates wonderfully detailed and complete cities, continents and worlds, with fully drawn populations and languages and cultures. All of which are so finely drawn as to seem historical and familiar.
This book of 21 stories of varying length and style – screenplays, novellas and short stories – is a smorgasbord. He displays the depth and breadth of his imagination and his command of language and narrative. These stories can serve as an introduction, an “amuse bouche” if you will.