changing strategies

i got the heely shoes, but after only a few minutes, it was clear they are not going to do what i want them to. they require the weight to be shifted to the heel, and it doesn’t help my right-foot-drop issue at all. so back they go.

and now my neuro has disabused me of the fantasy that the novantrone will fix the problem. that would be a best-case result, but she cautions me to think of it as a means to keep it from getting worse. so, of course, now i’m thinking about wheelchairs (which of course makes me think about my three-story house….) and hand controls for the car. they way things are right now with my leg make walking an exhausting challenge, and driving gets a little scary. i have to lift my leg from the hip, and so my whole lower back and even my left leg are stressed and….i am feeling frazzled and depressed about it all.

i know that attitude is a very important part of healing, and i do my best to keep my spirits up, but when every step is such a powerful reminder of this @#$% disease, it is hard to remain positive.

the good news is that the klonopin has taken care of the leg cramps for the most part. they are still there, but less extreme. small blessings.